Maybe "Me Time" should be "Us Time"

I finally have been making time for myself lately.  You can see above that I enjoy crocheting.  That is my favorite hobby.  As a SAHM on the road, it's hard to find your "me time".  My days are spent cleaning up after the kids, washing dishes, grocery shopping, cleaning the trailer, laundry, meal planning, mini lessons of homeschooling K girl, wiping booties, running errands, letting the kids play outside  me chasing after Dude, managing finances both on the road and at home, making meals, bathing kids, making Dear's lunch for the next day, picking put the trailer for the final time at night. You know just normal MOM LIFE! Most often, I live in a #mombrain fog.  It's even hard for me to find inspiration to blog, as bad as I want to.  I'm so consumed in my kids that I feel like they are all I know anymore. 

I am not a morning person by nature, but my kids think otherwise. I have tried waking up before the kids to have a little "me time". I just end up holding my mug of coffee while dozing in and out of sleep.  I would much rather stay up really late and have my "me time".  That is difficult, too.  My husband works late hours.  I try to give him my attention at night.  

You know: God first, Spouse second, Kids third.  

My mom called me to remind me of that the other day.  She visited another church in our hometown.  She said, "the preacher was banging me over the head with that, Abby.  I had to call you and tell you." I told her, "I remember reading that somewhere.  That you should put your spouse before your kids.  As a stay at home mom, that is especially hard to do.  You think your kids are your number one job."  

Now my mom was a stay at home wife and mom for 30 years.  My dad passed away almost three years ago from cancer.  He was a farmer, and she was the farmer's wife.  They worked so hard during their marriage.  Three kids, farming, moving for us to go to school, raising kids, Dad farming in one state and us going to school in another, loss of family members, business opportunities, pets, teenagers, kids involved in school and sports, kids in college, so on and so forth...

 JUST LIFE IN GENERAL. 

They stuck with each other.  They didn't give up.  I'm very proud of them.  

I asked my mom, 

• "so what do you wish you would've done different if that preacher was preaching to you?"
• "I would've given your daddy more attention.  I would've made a little extra time for him."

My mom is an awesome mom.  She put us first in everything she did.  I see what she means.  She would've spent a little more time with Dad instead of fretting over us all of the time.

I don't want to look over at Dear in 20 years, and be like "who are you? why are a we married? and what do we do now WITHOUT kids?" So maybe my "me time" needs to be a little more "us time".  I can still crochet and listen to his day.  I can start back writing sweet notes in his lunch box.  I do enjoy talking with him, or even just watching TV with him while I read a cookbook.  I know it makes him unwind and relax more.  One day it will just be "us" again, hopefully it won't just be "me".

I love my children. They have taught me so many lessons and have made me appreciate the sacrifices that my parents made for me.  I have never had a more heartwarming feeling than seeing Dear hold his children for the first time.  I would never do anything to neglect them or abandon them.  I believe that God wouldn't have given them to me if they weren't meant to be mine. Psalms 127:3 says "Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him."  I'm just saying staying at home is rough sometimes.

SO to wrap this all up, I think I will stop stressing for "me time" so much.  I get lonely during the day in a travel trailer with 2 toddlers, so I will start doing more "us time".