In the Hallway

It's been too long since I have blogged.  This year has been a whirlwind of change.  Our daughter started school, son started daycare, I took on a new full time job, taking online courses, and we are home.

It has been good in ways and difficult in others.  I cannot believe that I'm taking online courses.  I swore that I would NEVER go back to school.  Not that my classes are so difficult, it's just one more hat that I have to wear.

I also switched my career from a dental hygienist to an elementary teacher.  I know that the Lord called me to change careers, there is no doubt in my mind.  It is just so difficult.  I didn't imagine education field to be what it is.  It is such a demanding job.  I am constantly second guessing myself if I made the right decision.  Then I have to remind myself that it wasn't my decision at all.  I was called to do this.

Last summer, I wanted an identity outside of mom and wife.  I felt like I was losing "me".  That sounds so selfish, but I know someone out there can relate to this.  I felt like my light was dimming.  What was making me "me" anymore?!  All I was doing was tending to my kids, paying bills, laundry, cooking, cleaning, and helping my husband.  I felt like no one saw my efforts.  My kids were too young to even care to help me.  They thought it was a joke to destroy the travel trailer and drive me to my wit's end.  I was driving across the state to be with my husband to support him with his job.  I made a home at every place that we parked our fifth wheel.  My flesh wanted to know "who is seeing me?  Does anyone care about my efforts?"

Now I know the answer, God saw me.

He saw me fold and put away laundry so my family would have clean clothes.  He saw me cooking meals, washing dishes, getting groceries, paying bills, taking out the dog, packing my husband's lunch, bathing my children, tending to them when they were sick, HE SAW IT ALL! I know now that I was doing all of those tasks for God.  I shouldn't have wanted some identity and recognition for it all.  I should've been doing those tasks with a grateful heart.

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31

Why was my flesh not happy with what I was doing before?  Most women would love to be at home with their children.  I was told all of the time that I was so lucky.  They didn't know that I had picked up 8 raw eggs out of my carpet because my two year old thought it would be fun to get in the fridge and splat eggs. I was tired, worn out, and felt forgotten.  So I turned to prayer.  I prayed for new doors to open.

Then that is when my Teaching Testimony started to unfold.  To tell you the truth, I miss having time to go grocery shopping and making new recipes for my husband.  I miss all of us being together in the evenings.  At times I wonder why on Earth was I called to teach?!

Then I think of Queen Ester "Who knows if perhaps you were made queen for such a time as this?" Ester 4:14.

As I stated, I often think "why was I called to be a teacher?"  The answer is: I was called "for such a time as this."

There might've been one child in my classroom that needed me this year.  I might've sparked one little mind.  The days that I feel like I have made no difference, I am here for such a time as this.

I am exactly where I need to be.  I was created for such a time as this.  You were created for such a time as this.  Where you are in life is where you need to be.  Don't second guess yourself.  THIS IS IT!  Stop doubting your days, efforts, and time.  You are doing what you are supposed to be doing.  Your ideas, talents, and gifts are needed.

Until a Door opens, Praise God in the Hallway.

I was told a few weeks ago by a preacher intensely praying over me to "finish my course that I'm on.  Do not quit now.  This is apart of your journey. You are supposed to weather these trials."  This was not what I wanted to hear, but it is what I needed.  He told me that "I will get my answer that I'm looking for, and there will be no doubts."

As The Nomad Mama, I love change and moving around.  I prayed that God would take me to the ends of the Earth if it was His will.  But he knows that I would be comfortable with that.  God has put me in one spot.  That is what makes me uncomfortable.  It rubs me wrong, it makes my skin crawl.  He wants to push you out of your comfort zone for Him.  When God wants you to grow, He makes you uncomfortable!  He calls the willing and qualifies them.

"It is not that we think we are qualified to do anything on our own.  Our qualification comes from God."  2 Corinthians 3:5

For that reason, I am at terms with the direction that He is leading my life.


Y'all come back!

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