You Ain't Getting Me Down

I don't know where you are in the world, but it's raining cats and dogs here.  I've got 2 kids under 5, a 6 month old puppy, and a husband inside our 39' fifth wheel today.  😑  I take the kids outside a lot during the day so they do not drive me up the walls.  Rainy days like this one makes me want to find the nearest fast food restaurant with an indoor play area! 

But I decided to blog…

For those of you that do not know, I had weight loss surgery 2 years ago almost to the date.  I have lost 108 pounds.  It has been a wonderful and LIFE CHANGING journey.  I would do it over again IN AN INSTANT.  It was a true blessing to be able to have the surgery done.  I remember how my "old self" felt like a happy, vibrant person until I looked in the mirror.  How some people were always "concerned" about my weight but would make mean comments.  The endless attempts of weight loss with no avail.  I even doubted the surgery.  I hated the internal battle that I was fighting against myself every hour of every day.

WITH THAT BEING SAID… I have a fear of gaining the weight back.

Like every single woman, my weight fluctuates.  Today I weighed and I was 2 pounds heavier than I was yesterday.  what in the world?!  I cannot deal with it.  I was thinking "NO THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING!"  I texted my friend, and she said "CALM DOWN! It's just water weight.  I bet you haven't been drinking enough water!"  ok. ok. ok.  She was right.  I thought back on the past few days, and I haven't been drinking the water that I normally do.

I was like, " chill out, Abby.  Geez, you take your VSG lifestyle very seriously.  Get ahold of yourself!  Don't let that demon get you!"

YOU AIN'T GETTING ME DOWN TODAY, SATAN!

Satan has even been attacking me in my dreams.  Lately I've been having dreams that I'm failing 2 classes in high school or college.  It's like I go back to high school and I cannot graduate because I am failing two classes.  Like WHAT IN THE WORLD?! I'm stressed in my dreams?!  I even told myself one time, "get up Abby.  WALK OUT.  You are married and have 2 children.  You have done this already.  Walk OUT!"

My dad passed away 3 years ago from that UGLY "C" word.  I miss him so much, and I dream about him A LOT.  Lately my dream is that he's happy and healthy.  We are all visiting and laughing… Then it hits me… He DIED.  HOW DID HE COME BACK?!  In my dream, I recall thinking "I held your hand when you passed away, how are you here?!"  Then it's like I come to a realization on how he "came back".  In my dream he passed away, we buried his body, but 4 days later we had to dig the grave up because testing wanted to be done on him for the type of cancer that he had.  WE BURIED HIM ALIVE.  This dream has been TRAUMATIZING.

I know it's Satan.  He has attacked me in my dreams plenty of times.  I had no idea it was him until I told my aunt, and she explained the fact.  She prayed for me.  The bad dreams stopped, for that time.  I was so thankful, but now I know who the culprit is.  

Satan attacks you in your most vulnerable times.  He knows your weaknesses and THRIVES on making you feel awful.  

NOT TODAY, SATAN, NOT TODAY!

I'm not doing it.  I'm not letting him get me down any more today.  If you are battling some crappy stuff today (screaming kids, crazy fears, traumatizing dreams), don't let Satan win.  

Don't let him poke you in your wounds.  Let God heal you.  Whatever demons you are facing, chase them away with prayer.

With that being said, I'll pray for you as my aunt did for me.

Dear Lord Almighty,  
please heal whoever is reading this. I pray that this post has helped someone today.  Thank you for Your Unfailing Love for us.  Please heal my dreams and my thoughts.  Through You, I will find peace.  Please stomp down Satan, the enemy.  I cannot walk through this life without you.  Thank you Lord for ALL of your many blessings.  

In Jesus Christ's name

AMEN!

I hope this post helped you in some way.  It was a very vulnerable post for me to write, but I felt the need to do it. 

You are not alone.

Y'all Come Back!